


My Sweetest Downfall

by casey_sms (shinygreenwords), shinygreenwords



Category: The Social Network
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon, Character Study, Drama, M/M, Translation Available, Unrequited Love, 中文翻译 | Translation in Chinese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-07
Updated: 2011-04-07
Packaged: 2017-10-17 17:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/179253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/casey_sms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/shinygreenwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Signing the contract AUs. <i>It could happen like this.</i> </p>
            </blockquote>





	My Sweetest Downfall

**Author's Note:**

> I found a Chinese translation randomly [here](http://insidious.ycool.com/post.4593408.html) (22 Sept 2011).
> 
> Inspired by [this prompt](http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/4426.html?thread=6449994#t6449994) at the [tsn_kinkmeme](http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/).
> 
> Title taken from 'Samson' by Regina Spektor. I love this song and I really wanted to try and rewrite this scene so I did.

It’s the smallest thing.

Eduardo is flipping through the contract when it catches his eye. The numbers run through his head like the futures and possibilities unraveling in his mind.

0.03%.

He fights to keep the smile on his face. It’s instinctive. He’s hiding behind it. Eduardo is not even reading the words.

He can hear, “you’re not a part of Facebook” in Mark’s voice, taunting him. It would be like he never existed. No one will remember him. His name will not be in the history books. He’ll disappear. He’ll be a hazy memory even in the minds of the people he once called friends. Their eyes will slide over him. Eduardo Saverin will be just another college graduate with a degree trying to land a job. They’ll ask him about the internship he quit. He always stumbles a little when he answers. They’ll thank him for his application but he can hear in their voices that he’s not getting the job. He’ll hear a snatch of conversation, “just not the right fit”, “nothing really special”, “overqualified but unexperienced” and “what a shame”.

Eduardo has always felt this. Like his suits didn’t quite fit him, always a size too big even when he had them tailored. Like somehow everyone knew that he’d never smoked a cigarette or not handed in his homework. He knows there’s nothing normal in the way he sees the world. Eduardo looks at the sky and he sees patterns, predictable outcomes. He glimpses a smile and hears _you are not good enough_. He reads disappointment in silences. He is unfortunate accident. A mistake. Nothing he does is right. He was not meant to exist. Like an anomaly, a miscalculation. Except not so much the latter because he can’t be fixed. He’s a variable that needs to be taken out. He had been confused for a while but right now it is clear to him as ever _you should not have been born._

He can’t help doing the math in his head. 0.03%. It’s fair. He froze the account for Facebook. He froze Mark out. It could have hurt Facebook. He’s lucky it didn’t. An eye for an eye. Mark is cutting him off. He’ll still get more than his paltry nineteen thousand back. It’s more than he deserves.

He should have been there for him. He said he would be and he failed. He’s a shitty CFO and a shittier best friend. It will be his biggest regret. He can stand losing the money, the shares, the respect, his family but his best friend too? He would give everything to be able to do it over. To be there for Mark.

Now he will give everything because his best friend no longer wants him.

*

It could happen like this:

He pretends it’s okay. He celebrates with Mark like they are still friends. Like he never noticed that he was diluted out of his own company. And maybe Eduardo will get drunk and Mark is wasted too. And maybe they will have sex. Because Eduardo has nothing to lose any more. And maybe Eduardo will tell Mark he loves him but Mark will be too far gone. He will never know.

Or maybe when Mark clutches at his shirt and tells him in slurred syllables, “Wardo, you’re my best friend”, he’ll hum in agreement and put Mark to bed. Maybe he will kiss Mark on the forehead and the guilt will eat at him as he watches his best friend sleep. He will tell Mark everything and it still won’t be enough.

Mark won’t remember and Eduardo will never forget.

*

It will definitely happen like this:

He is a disappointment to his father. His father will never look at him again. And he will go as far away as possible so that he can have the excuse of not visiting, not enduring the pointed put downs and the question, “Why don’t you have the balls to sue him?”

Eduardo will set his jaw and he will refuse to apologize. He will not explain. Because his father won’t understand and his mother will.

He will not be able to face her either, her face lined with worry and her eyes knowing. He won’t make her choose.

His father will never forgive him. Not even in the end.

*

It could end like this:

He could sue Mark. He could make Mark pay. He could be a billionaire. But then the cycle of revenge would never stop and he would still be undeserving, bitter and angry. It would play out like a movie, a huge drama and he would be forced to dig out the hurt again and air it for strangers’ entertainment. At the end of it all, nobody will win. Everyone settles for second worst. The worst has already happened.

Mark will be on the other side on the table and Eduardo won’t be able to face him. All for six hundred million dollars. His thirty pieces of silver.

He would say to Mark, “I was your only friend” when what he really wanted to say was, “You were the only one.”

*

It should happen like this:

He forgives Mark. Because Mark is his best friend. Because even though he’s hurt and angry and he feels betrayed, he loves Mark anyway. Maybe he always will. It doesn’t change anything.

*

The pen in his hand is not his. Eduardo will sign his name with a steady hand. The piece of paper lies on the table like a white flag.

This is what Mark wants.

*

It always begins like this:

He signs it all away.

> _You are my sweetest downfall_  
>  I loved you first, I loved you first  
>  Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth  
>  I have to go, I have to go - [‘Samson’](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/reginaspektor/samson.html) by Regina Spektor

**Author's Note:**

> I have also written another contract!AU (there is no contract) using this song again [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/182103).


End file.
